In my work as a therapist, most people come to see me because some aspect of their life seems or feels overwhelming. It might be that they are struggling with depression or anxiety. Maybe they are having trouble in their relationships with a spouse or partner. Sometimes they are coping with some sort of crisis or tragedy. Or maybe they are haunted by something that has happened to them in their past. Nonetheless, the common theme with all of these life situations is that they are feeling overwhelmed and not sure how or even begin to know how to cope with it all.
The analogy I like to use is, it feels like someone has plopped an elephant in their lap and said, “Here! You have to eat this!” It is overwhelming… it is too much… it is too big! And who would want to eat an elephant anyway! They don’t know how to eat it, much less, where to start.
Most people’s problems are complicated. If they were not complicated, they would have figured out how to solve the problem(s) already. Besides that, the last thing in the world they would want to do is come talk to a perfect stranger about something so personal.
So where does one start, how do you begin to tackle a problem as big as, as complicated as, and as overwhelming as eating an elephant… well the answer is simple and the task is…, well… difficult… The only way to even to begin to tackle life’s most difficult of problems is to break them down into the smallest possible pieces. Then, by tackling those smaller things, you end up “eating the elephant”…one bite at a time…
The other key to tackling life’s problems is to recognize and gain insight into what you are doing now to solve the problem(s). You see, we human beings have this crazy way of doing the same things over and over again, the same old way, expecting a different result (Einstein’s definition of insanity…). When you can recognize what you are doing now that is not working and at the same time, admitting to yourself that the current efforts to change the situation, other people or even yourself is NOT working, then you can find other ways to approach the problems you are having.
The other very important thing to realize (this is not a “news flash” for anyone!)is the only person you can really change is yourself. Most of the time we put a whole lot of energy into trying to get other people to change or do things differently. And sometimes we can influence others. But ultimately, you can only change yourself… So by focusing on making changes to and for yourself (eating your own elephant), you are much more likely to get to the changes you want in your life…
As I mentioned before, it is a simple concept, but a difficult task… However, by taking things one bite at a time… you can make significant changes that will allow you to be less overwhelmed and more content and happy in life.
More to come…
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